life

What a novel concept...we all have the opportunity to affect the people we come in contact with each day...some we nod, speak, or completely ignore.I found out yesterday that one of those people who comes into your life and just makes you laugh left this world on the 15th of June. Just 2 days after my mamaw. The Hawk was a great soul he would come into the office on 2 wheels with his grey hair and ZZTop like beard/mustache blowing in the wind. He always made my day. I will miss him terribly but I am sure he is running.

countdown

As i drove to work this morning i realized that when all is said and done there will only be one person who stands beside me and that will be raven. she will watch over me and give me exactly what i need as i push thru wednesday. no judging no expectation no nothing just her loving me as i get ready to say the final goodbye to my mamaw. it is hard for me at times to understand and grasp the concept of real love that unconditional love but i am learning what that means and where it belongs in my life...i am not sure anyone else really understands the beat i walk to except for raven.

unforgettable

today at 3:05 am the person whom i cherished and found great comfort in finally gave way to life. she was such a strong woman for me and someone that i have missed terribly for the last 10 years. she is my mamaw who has suffered with dementia and alhezimers for so long, i believe deep in my soul that is the worst death any human can suffer and the worst any family can endure. there really are no words that describe the emptiness that i am feeling and yet the peace that comes with this passing. she gave so much to me and instilled qualities in me that make me the person whom i am today. today i am tearful and push through the day but the sun will shine again and the flowers will bloom for i have some wandering jew in my yard growing that came from her yard so we will plant together always. i hope that everyone has a mamaw that gives to them what i have received from mine.....

introduction

This is a first. I am hoping this will be a great experience for me.....this is a test got to try new things at 42 or else the kid will leave me in the dust.